i can't sleep

At times like these I have no one to talk to, no one can help me lol I'm so fucking alone

In the end no one's going to be there for you except yourself

I'm at the apple store right now and the man just said my MacBook is beyond repair :(
:(
:(
:(
I don't have $1400 for a new one
:(

I'm so confused about my stupid feelings l o l

egh

Omg I'm on my phone and I've been trying to type egh for ages but it keeps coming out as egg
Anyway okay I'm so pissed off at this girl from my work, she thinks she's so much better than everyone and it's so fucking annoying
I just walked past someone from school in maccas uniform gr8
LOL ANYWAY dis bitch, she acts like the biggest snob at work and it's just come on like you're 14, you're at fucking maccas, you're supposed to be doing your job not whining and bitching to everyone not everything is about u sweetie ok

makeup is so amazing

Just slight changes to your makeup and hair can make you look so different, like here I look so asian with short orange hair and that makeup

but in this photo I look like a completely different person HAHAHA 

2:36 am

I guess it's easier for you to do something if you really have the motivation to do it
If only there was a way for me to force myself into doings, like on the sims where you can make them work out for 10 hours and they can't complain
maybe then I could actually finish my english assessment due today .....

:(

because I fell asleep someone outbid me on my naked palette by one dollar and they won it instead
le sigh

yay motivated

my mum told me if I do well in my hsc she's gonna pay for my overseas trip and chip in for an apartment in the city!!
oh and speaking of money, I have 5 months left to save up for a car because my mum's car is pretty much falling apart and it's kinda scary driving it LOL.. so things to save up for:

• car 
• America trip
• Japan trip
• new macbook

did ma hurr

heheh 

One of my greatest fears is knowing I'll never get back the time I've lost. I'm not going to be young forever, I'm  going to grow old and die just like everyone else. What's even worse is knowing everything I love and everything I would have by the time I die would be gone forever, I wouldn't even know it existed in the first place because I'd be dead

I don't know why but I was sort of hoping you texted me

refresh my facebook to see this what

crap day

- went shopping
- forgot wallet at home
- my brother dragged me to look for shoes for 4 hours
- didn't end up fucking buying any shoes
- pissed me off so much
- he even told me I was getting fat when he knew I was upset
- gave him my phone to borrow
- he ended up locking it for a fucking hour
- school tomorrow
- double maths first period
- at least I know how to differentiate LOL

such a fucking stupid reason too

stop crying tasa
stop being so pathetic

holidays are almost over

and I didn't do any studying at all. Even though I went tutoring almost everyday of the holidays, I still don't understand much and I'm know when I go back to school going to be behind in everything. In English tutor I realised that I actually am horrible at it, no matter how much I try to think of a storyline or a topic sentence for an essay I just can't do it. Maths was alright though, I kind of understood the concept (lol helen) of what we were doing, but there's so much more I need to catch up on egh

sigh everything's been so crap lately I feel like shit

I want to move to another country and not have to worry about anything 

or maybe even lose my memory for a while

I want to forget everything

I want to forget you

ok

ok
ok
ok
there's something wrong with me for sure this is not normal
l o l

ok things I really hate:

- people who try to make themselves sound really good to impress me, like the ones who make themselves sound so caring and selfless no offence I don’t care lololol

- people who feel the need to update me on where they are every single minute of the day I’m not your own personal facebook please stop

forever eye bags

'you have really bad eye bags, oh wow yeah now all I can see are your eye bags'
Ever since one of my friends said that to me I've been putting frozen spoons under my eyes so they'll go away and it makes them disappear for a few hours yayayay

speaking of work

SO MANY PEOPLE FROM SCHOOL AT MACCAS TODAY LOLLLLL
- this girl called catherine in year 10 started working at maccas recently and I had no idea she went to my school until she told me
- saw a year 8? I think she's year 8 not sure
- saw nancy and her boyfriend

and I have a new nickname as well, people from work call me 'caramel' now after the caramel cookie mcflurry because of my hair HAHA

"you're gonna get so much shit for your hair at school"

Nancy saw my hair at work today and said that and now that I think about it light hair isn't really accepted in my school, since people judge you on every single fucking thing you do whether it be dye your hair or wear makeup or whatever
I don't really care what people in my school think but fdkjgkdghskdlldl

It's too much effort holding a grudge against someone

After you stop hating someone you kind of realise how much easier your life is like you don't have to worry about them anymore and the things they do that piss you off I don't know everything just becomes so much more relaxed I guess
:-)

I can not take myself seriously in my facebook profile picture
my hair is orange
and I'm wearing so much eye makeup
yolololol

easter show today!

honestly today was a crap day LOL it rained so much, people got pissed at each other, my hair got ruined, spent like $250 all together, but hey it was fun too! Everyone left early because they needed to go to the city and it was just me and Jessica so we just went around shops and rides

LOL...

oh and we bought ugly ass curly wigs and went to the city wearing them but as soon as we got there this group of 30 year old leb men asked to take a photo with us and we ended up being there for ages because they all wanted to have a turn .. they made us look so asian too, so we went to caps and took photos

HAHA

HHAHA what a day

I don't understand

why someone would bitch about me to pretty much every single person they talk to. Do you really have nothing better to talk about? Most these people don't even know me so I don't see why you're wasting your time trying to make people hate me l o l
je ne comprends pas

7ever alone

I've been single for almost 2 years ha
I realised today that I'm not into guys who are nice to me, like the type of guys who try to be sweet and caring because at first it might seem good, but after a while it gets boring? I don't know, I just think it's good when the guy's not that nice and sweet because then when they actually do something that's nice and sweet it'll mean more I guess
/forever not into nice guys

stepped on something sharp in my room

LOL yeah.....

I'm so envious of you all
well 97% of you actually
you don't even realise how lucky you are to not have this stupid fucking condition why me

half the holidays are gone already

There were so many things I wanted to do this holidays but I had no time this week because I was busy everyday with tutoring and going out and stuff. I decided not to do tutoring for english starting from tomorrow because then I might have time to study instead?
who am I kidding I'm not going to study maybe I should just do the english course
should I do it I'm really bad at english
je ne sais pas

dyed ma hurr

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE RED BUT IT LOOKS THE SAME IN PICTURES :-(

starting to regret this already

IT'S ALREADY IN MY HAIR NO GOING BACK NOW

horrible day

I have so many bruises from falling over onto that car today, burnt my hand on this boiling custard puff, missed the last bus in the middle of nowhere and had to walk for more than an hour until I found another bus stop, cold sore won't go away yet, and I have work tomorrow
I want to sleep in after all this but I have work at 7:30 tomorrow morning kill me now plsz

Fucking tripped at the crossing at Fairfield and fell onto a car, mum saw and she just fucking drove away ugh hate today I don't want to go to tutor I just want to go home and sleep

the only things I'm good at are:
- bejeweled blitz
- writing with both hands at the same time
- remembering pi up to 50 numbers
- drawing differentiated graphs

forever good at things we will never need in life :-(

my lips are so weird

They can't handle a sudden weather change at all, they dry up like crazy and I get cold sores too.. Cold sores are so annoying and it looks so bad, like I have some weird ass infection on the side of my mouth LOL but I bought this expensive ass cream that was $16 or literally two grams so hopefully it works and doesn't spread..

my life

you know what sucks

trekking it all the way to strathfield only to find out the person you're meeting up with isn't coming
oh well it was alright in the end, people saw me being a loner at the fountains and came to keep me company for a bit :-)

I just kind of realised that I have this weird thing where I like to cut things especially things with a weird texture I can't really explain LOL

cold hearted people

Those who don't care about other people's feelings and who are willing to hurt others without feeling the slightest bit guilty are the worst people in my opinion. I don't understand how someone could possibly would take away someone's happiness just because they can. It's just something I never thought people would do but I guess those cold hearted people who have the power to do such things just like to take advantage of it..

sigh again

Today wasn't exactly a great start to the week, I had to wake up at 7 this morning for tutoring which was pretty crap because I only got 4 and a half hours of sleep.. and I'm so exhausted too because I went out after tutor finished and ended up having no time to do my homework
I looked at my homework though, it looked pretty hard so I'll just leave it till tomorrow morning when I'm a bit happier ha

I wish I never met you

You've made my life so difficult without even trying, for such a long time too

I wish you knew how I felt ha

But that's impossible because you don't even know me

This has become so fucking ridiculous it's not even funny anymore

I don't really know what to say, I'm so awkward with things like this
le sigh

2:11 a.m.

I have tutoring today, from 9 in the morning till 12.. I don't know how I'm going to sit still and concentrate for three hours straight doing maths non stop especially since I'm going to be so tired. It's not only today either, it's for the rest of this week, and possibly next week for english tutoring. I wish I was smarter so I wouldn't have to need all this expensive tutoring.

Happiness is such a nice feeling, I should try it more often

What's your problem? All I did was come downstairs, say I'm hungry, cut myself some fruit, and you rage at me like no tomorrow because I put a fucking tissue on the table where I was eating.
then you go on and say 'no wonder no one likes you' and 'you see what happens next time you ask for something' when I didn't even do anything to you ugh dlsfkjldkfkgj

i like my brother's clothes..LOL

looking nice in a photo was too much effort
anyways my brother's clothes so comfortable and simple even though they all have naked women on them
i'm gonna go buy more tops like this LOL

Everyone's having a fucking great night out probably having heaps of fun celebrating and whatnot while I'm at home being sad because of really stupid reasons ha

I'm so jealous of you, you've had everything I ever wanted.

diet/exercise tips

hi anon, best of luck with your diet! here's some tips for dieting and exercise that I think are pretty helpful:

- When you're eating, avoid larger meals three times a day, and try go for smaller meals about 5 times a day so you'll stay fuller for longer plus you're not eating as much

- Try not to eat fried foods, and if you really need your food fried then stay away from unhealthy oils like vegetable oil and use extra virgin olive oil instead

-Eat breakfast!!! Breakfast is seriously the most important meal of the day. it speeds up your metabolism, puts you in a better mood for the day, and makes you concentrate more because you're not hungry later on when you're doing things

- Eat healthily, this is a really obvious one but yeah you should cut down on fast food and anything high in fats and sugars when you're dieting. So this means maccas, cake, too much chocolate, buttery things..yeah pretty much anything delicious

- Which brings me to the next point; CELERY HAHA one of the most disgusting foods ever. Eating and digesting celery actually burns more calories than the celery actually has, I lost like 3kg in 3 days from eating just celery and carrots at school once. If you're one of those people who love to eat raw celery, then this isn't too hard but if you hate celery like I do then good luck!

- Drink plenty of water! Diets work better if you only drink water, and this means no soft drinks, juices, smoothies etc. also drinking a cup of water before your meal will make you less hungry which means you'll eat less.

- Exercising everyday is really important in a diet, so you lose weight and stay healthy and fit at the same time. Try exercising half an hour every single day if not more and try doing it on a regular basis instead of like once a month or something like I did HAHA

- Before exercising, have a snack like some fruit or a snack bar or something so it keeps your sugar levels up while you're working out and you won't get hungry right before you start, which is a pretty shit feeling

that's all I can think of right now, good luck!! :-)

nooooo

my maccas called me this morning and I missed it because I was downstairs talking to mum
I called them back and they said 'I was just going to ask if you wanted to work today but we've got someone now it's okay'
AND TODAY IS DOUBLE PAY TOOO noooOoOoooOO

lololol

so I was sitting on my neighbour's driveway with my friend because.. I don't even know but yeah anyway this car pulls up and these men got out and walked towards my neighbours house HAHA I had to explain why we were sitting there so I pointed at my house and was like 'we're waiting for someone to come out!' and they were like oh it's cool and invited us inside to have a drink with them lolol wot

awks

I was at maccas tonight and I saw people from my school and sydney boys in the year above me waiting in line
l o l

diet time again

This is probably the 2795474th diet I've started but I feel so bad looking at what I used to look like and what I look like now

i got so fat

looking at my old photos
my legs weren't so bad back then

Since then I think I gained like 5kg, which is terrible because winter's coming up and everyone gains weight in winter, so if I don't lose weight now I'm just going to get bigger and bigger

changed my theme

I really like it!

i don't know

have you ever realised how controlled people are, like today I was sitting on a train and I was thinking about how someone could come onto the train with a machine gun and kill everyone, or the train driver could just speed up and crash somewhere, or whatever lol but no one would ever do such a thing unless they were complete insane.. everyone's so civilised and sensible with their lives, imagine if we were all crazy and destructive like imagine if we just went around killing people for fun
i don't even know

guess what

georgia might be coming back to my school!!
!!!
!!
yay!!!!!

yeees

only one more day left until holidays! I'm actually really excited for the next two weeks coming up even though it's probably going to be the most boring, work filled holidays ever. well anything is better than school!
The only negative thing about the holidays is that I have tutoring every single day.. I guess it's a good thing though because it's a great opportunity to catch up on maths and english :)

this blog is too depressing

going to post happier things from now on
:-)

I hope something happens at the end of the holidays
like I get extremely sick
or I get run over by a car
or I suddenly have to move to another country forever

no motivation to even get up and get ready for school anymore

Hahaha

Why are you wasting your time stalking my blog, don't you have better things to do
fucking lol

I don't understand

why people put themselves through so much pain for love
like people who go into depression because someone doesn't love them back
and people who don't see a reason to live anymore because their boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with them

idgi can someone explain to me l o l

Why can't you just accept what happened and move on? I don't see the point in holding onto something when the only thing it's doing is hurting you.

birthday party today

:-)

someone's trying to convince me to go to school this week because ______ _____ is going to be at school
lol
okay
I don't really care anymore

i just realised

from my facebook photos it looks like I only ever take photos with helen HAHAHA
her camera is so nice though it makes my skin look gr8

my bad

I went out too much this week and I ended up getting no work done at all, except at tutoring on wednesday but that's it. I was supposed to study yesterday but I couldn't because of work and I already made plans and today I had a birthday party
which by the way were both really fun, I had a good weekend!!
well yeah anyway now I don't have time to study for my maths test and it'll make me 'drag the whole class down' according to some people oh boo fucking hoo