you're not even that great, you have no right to talk about other people the way you do
if you have a problem with me say it to my face you fucking bitch

what did I do to deserve all this hate?

taking forever to get ready

I can't believe last year I would get up at 6, have a shower, brush my teeth, blow dry my hair, straighten my hair, straighten my extensions, put them on, and finally do my makeup
I was so bothered to try to look good for school but who is there to impress there anyway? these days I wake up at 7:20 and still get to school on time heehehehe one hour and 20 minutes of extra sleep!

lol what the hell

today at the language festival I was lining up to buy those tokens with tiffanie, and there was a junior with really long hair standing next to me. Her hair was so nice and long so I said, "you have nice hair!" and she just looked at me, gave me a dirty, then walked away
?????
that was rude

I feel like I can't write anything on here anymore because I know more people are reading it than I originally thought

i like this movie

http://youtu.be/SfqqAusXBM4
it's really sad though, I just finished it again and my eyes are so red from crying LOL
it's a good movie, you guys should watch it!

Most embarrassing train ride home ever
l o l

I’m kind of scared

Today I heard that someone from my grade is going to get expelled from my school. What if it's me lol I can't think of anyone in my grade who would actually be told to leave

fun day

- was mufti so no school uniform!
- bought new shoes at market city and they were half price :D
- went to karaoke after school for like 2 hours
- ate dinner in chinatown, there were snails in this soup we ordered yuckkkk
- well it was called snail soup but still snails are so disgusting
- played pool too I won the last game hehehehe but I lost the rest
overall it was a gr8 day today :-)

people will always judge you on what they see

It's bullshit when people say 'don't judge a book by its cover' because really everyone judges everything based on looks and what they can see from the outside I mean it's not even just looks it's everything lol
okay for example today I was driving to pick my mum up and heaps of cars got so angry at me, overtook me, and beeped at me purely because I'm an L plater. I wasn't even doing anything wrong and I think if I didn't have any L plates on no one would do that
ughhh
I'm having a bad night :-(

ha

I can't believed I liked you for that long
what was wrong with me lolololol

people from outside of school are so nice *u*

happppy

Today's been such a great day! I think it's because I didn't go to school, meaning I didn't have to worry about anything allll day and I just got to stay home and relax while finishing off my art diary.

need to stop caring

I care wayyyyyyyyyyy too much about what other people think. I always tell people oh fuck everyone just be yourself it doesn't matter what anyone thinks but I don't even take that advice myself, I'm the biggest hypocrite of all time

not looking forward to school

- I don't understand anything
- everyone in my classes probably think I'm stupid
- people hate me as well
- for no apparent reason
- I have double english again
- and double maths
- and every single other fucking subject I do
- art diary is due on friday
- maths test next week
- maths for the next two years
- same with english
- falling behind everywhere
- I don't belong at sghs
- and I feel ugly
- and fat
- and hated

I hate the feeling where you know you're surrounded in people who don't like you

awkward

in english we were supposed to get into pairs and do orals

but I was away

and there’s 21 people in my class

so I just sit there pretending to do something while everything works together and it’s sad because I don’t want my teacher to be like hey make a group of three because I know noone wants me to join them anyway

/crey

i wish i did physics

I'm not any good at it but it seems so interesting, especially things to do with space and time. I was watching these Stephen Hawking videos instead of studying for maths and I think he's a really amazing person to have thought of all these theories about time travel and black holes LOL I don't know why I'm doing chemistry I have no interest in it anymore, this is so much more fascinating to me

loool

today I found out about this girl who hates me and thinks I'm a fake bitch for some reason even though I don't know her and she doesn't know me. I don't get it what is it about me that makes me seem like that?
I guess I don't care lol I neeed to stop letting people's opinions get to me

on the phone with my mum

me: I can't breathe properly mum
her: okay
me: no seriously there's something wrong with me
her: okay

:(

last night was fun

it was the most embarrassing night ever but oh well
:-)

good day!

Today was a fun day except it was so hot and I got a rash on my neck at lunch oh my goodness it was the hugest itchiest rash I've ever gotten in my whole life. I couldn't stop scratching it but hey t least I got to miss out on a bit of english because of it!

Anyway after school Helen and I went to Circular Quay because Cadbury was doing this thing where you had to do the chicken dance to get a whole giant bag of chocolate for free. It was embarrassing because so many people were watching but look at this seriously

it was definitely worth trekking it all the way to Circular Quay, now I have enough chocolate for like a whole year
jokes I could finish that all tonight LOL

ffffuuuuuuu

today's weather forcast is too hot for school

oh my fucking god

I just read some of my old posts for the lols
and I know someone who I posted about before reads my blog
and I wrote such embarrassing things about them
fuck
how
embarrassing
/delete everything

I need someone in my life who'll make me feel like everything will be worth it in the end

I think people at school think I'm stupid

I know I could do well in school if I tried, but it's just that I don't have any motivation to do my work, and without motivation or goals, I won't want to do it, and if I don't want to do it I won't. I don't see any purpose in doing anything for school because I don't think I'm going to end up happy in the future anyway, in fact I don't really see a future for myself at all.

At the end of last year when I was choosing my subjects, I was still kind of hopeful that I would change how I approach things and actually try hard in school but when year 11 started to get more stressful, I just lost all interest in aiming towards my future career and life. This year I started to like really think about everything and how my life would turn out even if I did try hard in school. I'd go to uni, study for about 3 to 7 more years or even 10 if I did get a high enough atar, get a job, get married or something, change jobs a few times, retire, grow old, and finally become too old to even do anything. Sure if I spent most of my life studying and working I'd have a lot of money, but would that mean my life would be successful, like would I even be happy? I don't know this is kind of why I don't like thinking about it because I don't like the idea of living like that..

/lol soz for this loonngg ass post but i had to write it down somewhere

lol

I got an email from this teacher at my school saying "As you may be aware I am employed with the School to support students in Year 11 and Year 12 with their work, time management, prioritising etc. I identify students in discussion with the year advisor and Ms Grant suggested I may be able to work with you.

Could you please drop into the Library and make an appointment to see me."

She approached me today and I had no idea who she was, but when she left this girl I was walking with said 'oh remember at the year meeting ms grant talked about her assisting students who need help with their work lol I'm not one of them yessss *high fives person next to her*'

I felt so shit, as if school wasn't embarrassing enough already, some fucking 'oh you're doing shit at school' teacher has to approach me in the hallway and ask me to make an appointment with her to help organise my school work.

I`m on a bus

and I have no idea where I am or how long until it gets to where I need to go but I don't really care because I have English 4th and 5th period ugh
but anyway I just finished at my orthodontist and he said to come back in 3 months! my teeth aren't even completely straight even though my braces are already off and he's like trying to avoid fixing them (￣^￣)ゞ

omfg

I keep eating way too much but food is so delicious and I'm always hungry eheheh

no offence gurl

but you look like a whore
xoxo

procrastination at its finest

Instead of doing all the work I need to do, I started watching all these videos on youtube and somehow I got to this strange, kind of gross, but weirdly satisfying video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARV2SaEHrEA

get out of my mind

someone run me over with their car so I forget can forget who you are

stop thinking about such stupid things tasa
lol

not a good night

I wish I could control my thoughts and my feelings
I wish I wasn't so stupid
I wish I never found out you existed
I wish I was happy
can I just disappear forever please

It's pretty messed up how you doing something so small could make me so happy

my dreams are more realistic than reality itself

Nothing weird ever happens in my dreams anymore, it's as if when I go to sleep I continue being awake except I'm happy with my life and I do things I would normally be too afraid to do without any worries. Towards the end of my dreams though, there's always something that kind of reminds me 'hey tasa don't get too happy this is only a dream' and so I wake up disappointed as usual. I wish I could just escape from reality and dream forever because that's the only time when I can be genuinely happy.

freaking out

just did something very brave
HAHAHAHAHA not really but it was pretty brave of me!!

'good morning beautiful'
skdjfdhkfsfldsfkdliscl
/dead

so hungry

I want to eat so badly but my annoying brother and his friends are in the living room playing on his ps3 and I don't want to walk past because I look terrible
look at this food though is this heaven or

My Rosters (1)

FINALLY BACK TO WORK
YAAAYYYYY

you know when

you gain so much weight so quickly that you can actually feel a difference on your face
I can feel a double chin forming omg pls no

english is really getting to me

We're still analysing this poem in extension english called the love song of j alfred prufrock by ts eliot, and it's making me feel kind of uneasy because mr michael and everyone else in class all interpret it as a guy who's wasting his life and he keeps questioning it, he's about to die alone, and he doesn't know what to do like he's procrastinating life and stuff.. he reminds me so much of me it's freaking me outtt

yay

I think this is like the third time I posted about my hair but fuck the police it feels so nice now yeyeyeyey

treating my hair again

my hair is pretty long when it's kind of wet now yey

anonymous

I respect the opinions of people who don't show their face, and I keep what they say in mind because they are a lot more truthful than people I actually know. People you know won't be mean enough to say something that might be hurtful to you, they won't say anything that's really nice either, and they most likely won't tell you exactly what they want to say. I know I do it like I mean if someone looks bad I don't tell them because I don't want them to be upset or anything..

maybe I should just talk to you
because yolo
but then again you'll probably give me a weird look and ignore me
and I'll feel humiliated forever
ok nevermind

double english tomorrow morning

I absolutely hate english. I feel like whenever I'm asked something and I don't know what the answer is (every single time) people just stare at me thinking 'lol she's so dumb why is she here mr michael even said people like her don't belong here' and I feel really discouraged to say anything because I'm terrible at speaking using sophisticated english like everyone else does in class ugh

saw this on tumblr

must work to achieve this

oh no

I gained two kilos over the past 2 weeks :-( I think it's because I keep eating a lot everyday especially since the year 10s are selling chocolate at school
okay from now on
- no more chocolate
- only healthy food
- and exercise
I say this all the time though and nothing ever happens
but I'm 500grams away from being what I think is overweight so.....

I work better by myself

I learn more at tutoring in a day than what I learn in two weeks of school, because it's just so much better and easier to learn when it's one on one. School is the biggest waste of time for me because all I end up doing is sit there and start doing something else because not only is it hard to learn but every single class is boring and I have absolutely no interest in what we do at all
why do I even go to schoolllll

I just read my posts about my brother and realised I swear a lot when I'm upset or mad
and it doesn't look very good
yeah I should stop
like today there was this bogan girl on my train who just kept swearing in every single sentence, and I realised how unintelligent it makes you sound especially when you're just talking normally about everyday things
or maybe it was because she had a bogan accent
L O L

"I bought it with my own money"

no you didn't cunt
mum and dad give you all the money you have
just shut the fuck up

lol

there is nothing I dislike more than when people reply to me with ‘lol’, or ‘lol ok’ because what am I supposed to do after that? it’s the biggest conversation killer, so don’t expect me to try to talk to you if you’re going to use a lol seriously you might as well just say ‘well hey you know what fuck you I don’t want to talk to you lol’

life sucks

- need to finish cleaning my shelf
- english group presentation tomorrow
- I don't even know what to do for it
- don't want to go to school
- except omg today after sport
- jokes nevermind
- what is wrong with me

I need to get a lifeeeeeeee

you fucking ripped my ear

I can't believe you would get so angry over a fucking little tub of hair wax
you had your fist in my face and said "I'll punch you fucking give it back"
are you serious?
It's hair wax
you're my brother
what the fuck is wrong with you
you don't just hit your sister
you just don't fucking do that
fucking cunt
die

someone needs to hit you

1. when mum called you down for dinner, instead of eating it you ripped open a bag of bread and ate that instead
2. you left everything half eaten and wouldn't eat anything mum asked you to try
3. you used dad's credit card without telling him, and when the package came you raged because I took one of your three hair waxes
4. you're in my room now trashing it because I took a fucking tub of hair wax
lol if I go in my room and see all my stuff everywhere
ha
ahahaha
ha
lol

I can't write

Whether it's an essay or just a blog post, whatever I write ends up sounding like shit. I wish I was one of those people who are able to express their thoughts into words so easily without even having to think for ages.. OH WELL SHIT WRITER 4LYF

there's this girl who follows me

and holy moly she is so pretty my self esteem is now non existant

you're so pathetic haha

i hate it when

I decide I'm going to eat something, and when I'm about to get up to grab food I remember I shouldn't eat because I'm not hungry and that if I eat I'll just get fat
but I already decided I was going to eat so I get really disappointed

oh and sorry about the lack of posts, I've been so sick and lazy this week
wait it's like I'm apologising to myself
because noone even cares
why did I write that
okay time to do more maths

maths test tomorrow

I am so scared.. My teacher said I should aim for 60% which was kind of mean, he just rubbed in how bad I am at maths. I studied so hard for it today with my tutor seriously I am so grateful he stayed back three extra hours (for free) to help me prepare for it. I hope I get more than 60%, kind of because I don't want to disappoint my tutor after he spent so much time trying to make me learn everything

I still don't understand some of it though
omg stress